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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Adoption Story --- Part 1

After careful thought and consideration I have decided to share the story of how our wonderful kids came to be part of our family. Certain names have been changed, to protect ourselves and the great women and their families who made this all possible.
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Matt and I got married in 1995, I was 20 and he was 21. We had no specific plan as to when we wanted to start having children - other than the fact that I wanted 4 kids. Because my parents had fertility issues, I was hoping to have them before I turned 30 - because I kind of figured that if I was anything like my mom I would have to have a hysterectomy at some point.

In May 1996 we decided that it was time to stop using birth control and to "just get pregnant". Sounds simple enough right? We started hoping and planning for a baby. We even bought a crib.

Month after month after month went on with no pregnancy. There were several times "we were sure" but the stupid tests were always negative. I was always so upset about it. I literally felt my heart break whenever we had a friend or a family member announce they were pregnant. We kept on just trying. Every time I went to the doctor they would have no answers for me as to why I was not pregnant.

In 2001 we decided to get an appointment with the Fertility Clinic at the University of Utah, the wait time for an appointment was 7 months. In the mean time we decided to go to LDS Family Services and apply for adoption.

In October 2001 we started the application process. There was quite a bit involved. We had to have background checks, interviews alone and as a couple, Bishop's recommendation, health exams, take classes, reference letters from friends, have a home inspection, answer about 100 essay questions individually, write a letter to birth families, and do a scrapbook collage of ourselves....

To be continued...............


63 comments:

Heather said...

WOW! The adoption process is intense. I had no idea!

Deb said...

I think it's so great that you're sharing your story - I have many friends and family members that have adopted - what a blessing adoption has been in their lives!

Norah said...

Thanks for sharing your story! I look forward to reading more about your adoption process. Our lives have been so similar its eery. We were at the U's clinic for all of 2000, 2001, and half of 2002, we may have crossed paths without knowing.

angie said...

I can't wait to read more. Thanks for stopping by my blog so that I could discover yours. Hope you stop by again, and I'll be looking for the rest of the story.

~*Paty*~ said...

Thanks for posting this. My husband and I have been trying for almost 3 years. We also went to the U of U for fertility treatment and tried IVF 3 times with no success. We were actually just thinking of going to LDS family services to get the process started.

WheresMyAngels said...

I love adoption blogs and consider myself an adoption blog stalker, Heck, that is even the title of the first post I did on my blog.

Now is part two around here????

trashalou said...

thanks for sharing :-)

wehave9 said...

I can't imagine having fertility issues but it must be very difficult. I am glad you found a way to have the children you want and help needy children too!

Colleen said...

Thanks for sharing your story, I look forward to reading more!

ugagirl30 said...

I am sorry that you had so many problems, but you do have some beautiful kids now--no matter how you got them.

My sister is considering adoption/fostering. She feels like she is being called in that direction, so she may need to read more about this adoption process.

wendy said...

I have a friend who *just* adopted a little girl from China. She came home just in time for Christmas last year. It's an amazing journey.

PhatMom said...

Wow. Now that's patience!!

Kathi said...

Did you post the rest of the story? I see that you have 2 beautiful kids.

Congrats on your SiTS day! :)

Caroline said...

Have you written any more parts to this story? I guess I could look at your archive and answer my own questions huh? I have a good friend who just got a call from her case manager and scheduled a meeting with the birth mother, only to have it cancelled. The birth mother had decided she wanted to keep the baby. Its heartbreaking. I just hope it won't be long before another baby makes its way into their hearts and arms.

Jaime H. said...

I can't wait to read more of this story! I love hearing about how the LDS church helps its members (my ex-family is LDS, as are some good friends!)

Congrats on being SITS featured!

Kristy said...

Congrats on being featured on SITS! And wow I had no idea what went into adopting. I look forward to the rest of your story.

CindyDianne said...

It amazes me how some people struggle to have children, biologically or otherwise, and yet there are those who get pregnant (myself included) without even trying. Congratulations on what is, apparently, a happy ending!

Heather said...

Wow, amazing how intense that process is! I'm so glad to see that you came out the other side with positive results.

Love the design of your blog. Congrats on being featured today!

Jodi said...

Adopting takes alot of work, but he rewards are oh so sweet!!

Melanie said...

You are awesome. I wish I had a huge house so that I could adopt but our 4 kids barely fit in this tiny house. People like you are amazing for doing what you do.

Heather said...

Oh, I could've written, word-for-word, parts of this post! ((hugs)) to you!!

I'm also a mom through adoption, as well as an adoptee myself. I clicked on this featured post link first (I usually go down the list in order) as soon as I saw "adoption story" :) ... Now I've got to find part 2. Hopefully it doesn't include too much waiting before your kids became part of your family!

Cheers!

Lori said...

I know what you mean about thinking you'd "just get pregnant" -- seems so easy. It's taken me a long time to stop thinking cynical thoughts when people assume that being pregnant means you're going to have a baby.

Great post, I'm looking forward to reading the rest.

Christine said...

Beautiful kids.

Party of 5 said...

You'd think that there wouldn't be so many hoops and cost that goes into adoption. I know most of it is for the sake and safety of the child but I wish there was a way for it to be faster.

You look like an awesome Mommy SITSa!

Peggy said...

How tragic that loving parents have to endure so much to adopt, while those who have no business being parents get pregnant time and again.

Ronnica said...

I've always wanted to adopt. I probably will someday.

mrsmouthy said...

Our friends have been through the process and it sounds like one of the most difficult things you can do (unless you're Hollywood)...but definitely the most rewarding. Your family is BEAUTIFUL.

Migraine Mom said...

Wow! Thanks for the morning cry! Happy SITS day! Your family is beautiful!

Casey's trio said...

I can't wait to read more about your family! Happy SITs day.

Dana said...

WOW! That sounds like a lengthy process! My cousin adopted from Russia. What a grueling process THAT was! My littlest sister is adopted and for some reason, that all just seemed to fall into my parents lap!

Tena said...

what an incredible journey! Thank you for sharing such a personal story with us. Those babies might not have grown in your belly, but they sure do grow in your heart!

Ü

Happy SITS day to you! Great blog!

Kelly Deneen said...

I look forward to reading more. I cannot imagine having gone through all of that. I think it's great of you to share your story.

Karen said...

It is amazing to look at your family picture and think of the process to get there. I will need to continue reading!!!

sassy stephanie said...

I have good friends that have gone through this as well. I so believe people were put on this earth to adopt. I think sometimes they make the best parents. Off to read more...

greedygrace said...

We are also trying to adopt. It's a long, heart wrenching process, but I hope it will be worth it for us in the end! Off to read the other parts of your story!

Congrats on the SITS feature!

Ms. J. to you! said...

I look forward to reading the whole story! I have considered adoption also. Thanks for sharing your story.

~j~

Tara said...

I can't wait to read more. After 4 years of infertility we are getting ready to begin the adoption process. Thanks for sharing your story!

dddiva said...

While I know the process of adoption is heartwrenching (my sil got a child taken away when the birth mom wanted her back) I am so glad there are people like you who can make such a huge difference when you choose to adopt, esp. special needs children.

Karen said...

I just read through all 15 instalments. Beautiful story.

EmmaP said...

A Shout-Out down the road here from Woods Cross!!!

I think it is great what you have done. I have a sister-in-law that can't have children and they are looking to adopt now. I have a neighbor girl who got pregnant and gave her baby up for adoption through LDS family services and said it was a very loving experience, though hard, of course. And I have a good family friend that has adopted all of her 4 boys!!! Here is the saying she has posted on her blog - which I just LOVE!!!!!

"Adoption means you grew in your Mommy's heart instead of her tummy"

Thanks for sharing! Anyone have a tissue???

jennifer said...

What a precious family history. You are all very blessed to have each other.

Jen

Becky :) said...

I didn't realize that the adoption process required so much. But you and your husband are amazing people to have done it. :-)

AJ said...

Thanks for sharing this with us. I can't wait to read the rest of the story.

Stinky John Jones said...

Happy SITS day!
Can't wait to read the rest of your wonderful story!

Judy Haley (coffeejitters) said...

oh, I can't wait to read the rest of this.

We've been trying to have a baby for 4 years. We cant afford IVF or Adoption but maybe someday...

-Bridget said...

This sounds somewhat familiar. My husband and I had fertility issues and after a few years we decided to look into adoption. Unfortunately, LDS services were not available to us because even though I am LDS, my husband is not. Fortunately, we were able to finally have two children on our own, but we've never ruled out adoption in the future. Congrats on your beautiful family!

Cara Starr said...

that is quite a process.

Jen said...

I know that pain of negative pregnancy tests and wanting to cry whenever someone else got pregnant. It seems like they are everywhere when you stuggle with infertility.

Hairline Fracture said...

Well now I've got to find the next post in the story!

About said...

Problems of infertility can be so traumatizing. WHen you keep in mind the sole purpose os to have a family, it all makes it worthit and possible!
Congrats on a beautiful family!
Jen

Kaza said...

Enjoy your SITSta day of comment love!

Kelly said...

Your story totally sucked me in...I've been all over your blog and read all 15 installments. What a beautiful, heart-wrenching story. Thank you for sharing it.

Linney Shvede said...

Such a wonderful family you have...

Simply Stork said...

wow quite a story...

~simply~

Michelle said...

There's so much to adoption that people just don't think about. The more I learn about it, the more impressed I am with the people who go through with it and are able to complete their families.

Feliz said...

I didn't know that the process was so intense and LONG until my friend recently adopted a little boy after fostering him. She and her husband got him when he was 3 months old and the process wasn't complete until he was two! Cheers to you!

thotlady said...

I used to work at an adoption agency so I know the drill.

Always worth it though. We had many, many success stories and only a couple sad stories.

Adoption is a wonderful option.

Jess said...

WOW I never knew all that went into the adoption process. HUGS

Givinya De Elba said...

My heart always breaks when I hear how long and drawn-out adoption is. I will never ever understand why it has to be that way. Not even if somebody explains it to me. Never.

Melissa Lester said...

Viewing your family's lovely picture on the sidebar, I am glad to know that this story has a happy ending!

i'm kelly said...

thanks for sharing your story. it helps me to remember our precious our children truly are!

Rhea said...

Going through the adoption process has to be such a growing experience. You surely learn so much about yourself and your husband...and your family. I hope everyone was super supportive.

RitterB's said...

Good Morning... Stopping in from SITS.... We too have adopted our youngest two. I figure our Heavenly Father has to be a bit creative sometimes in make sure our spirits make it to the right family!
My parents live in Kaysville. I'll be spending 3 weeks there in July. Lots of fun for us to be had there!