“What did you just say?” Tears filled my eyes. He told me that we should expect to get the actual announcement letter/package from Susan this week. Oh my gosh!! My next question, “Can I use your phone?” I had to call Matt. “Oh please oh please let him be at the station and not out on a call.” Trying to contain my tears of joy and the sounds crying I told Matt that he was going to be a daddy. He told that I needed to come to the fire station so we could be together. I went and told our caseworker that I needed to leave. He was surprised that I was still there. Without saying goodbye to anyone else I left the party and drove (probably a little to fast) to the fire station.
That night we made some phone calls to share our good news with our family and close friends. Then we anxiously waited until Friday when we received a call that we had a package at the agency. Matt was again at work but my mom was back in town, we were out shopping and quickly went to the agency where I was given a box. I opened the box and found some baby shoes, a pink bear, a rattle, and a beautiful card announcing that our baby was due in about 10 weeks. There was also something in there that I never expected to have – ultrasound pictures of my baby.
We talked and talked about what to name her. Of course all girls have names picked out for their kids long before they ever have them. But non of the names seemed right. The caseworker told us that Susan had been calling the baby Micayla (although we don't know how she was spelling it) that name just seemed so right!
The next week we had our first of two face-to-face meetings with Susan and her parents. Oh my gosh! I have never so nervous before in my life. I was shaking and my hands were sweating. We walked in the room and there she was. A beautiful woman with a round pregnant belly, pregnant with a baby that was going to be ours. Almost immediately my fears were calmed. We talked to her and her parents for almost 2 hours – although it seems like it was only a few minutes. She told us about her family and her boys. She told us how it was breaking her heart to give this baby up. She had always wanted a girl. She told us about her oldest son and his disabilities. We told her about our family, our traditions, our goals, and how extremely excited we were at the opportunity to be parents. We talked a little bit about VCFS and we felt good about it. They told us that the baby’s heart looked good and that they could tell that she did not have a cleft palate. We still understood that is was still likely that there would be some issues that we would be dealing with.
You know it was bittersweet. It was hard to be so happy while at the same time knowing that she was sad. She was in a way preparing her-self for a loss. Her parents were dealing with the emotions of giving up a grandchild. Here we were these strange people that they were trusting.
I should point out that this was a “closed adoption” we only knew each others first names. We did not exchange last names nor did we know where the others lived. They knew that Matt was a firefighter – but they did not know where.
We decided at the first meeting that we should meet again, but this time we should also meet her sons. So 2 weeks later we met again. Her sons were great! We took them some toy fire trucks and we played with them on the floor. Her oldest son was severely handicapped – but what was so amazing to me was his spirit. We played and visited for a couple of hours.
At the end of the meeting they left and the caseworkers asked us to stay for a few minutes. They wanted to make sure that we were prepared for whatever health issues that Micayla might have. We still felt strongly that whatever was to happen was the way it was supposed to be, putting all of our faith in the Lord and his plan. To us this was no different than if I were pregnant, there is always the chance that something could go wrong.
For the next few weeks we wrote letters back and forth. It was a great opportunity to share with her the things that we were doing to prepare for this little person soon to come.
Her caseworker called us 2 days before Thanksgiving and told us that Susan was being induced on Saturday. The plan was that she would be discharged from the hospital on Monday night and they were going to take Micayla home with them and then bring her to the agency for placement on Tuesday. Sounded good enough to us. We were told that someone would call us when she was born.