They only allowed us to stay for about 20 minutes. There were a couple of doctors and nurses working on her. They were getting her settled, doing lab work and monitoring her breathing. This was very overwhelming.
Before we left the hospital we planned what time to meet there again on Tuesday morning. Everything was so up in the air and we wanted to be there to hear what the plan would be for Micayla’s care. We gave Susan our home and both cell phone numbers because even though she had made sure to give the hospital permission to talk to us about Micayla although if they had any questions or needed approval for anything they would have to call her. This was hard for her. She wanted us to Micayla’s parents but until a few things were ironed out the Agency would not allow her to relinquish her rights.
We got home at about midnight. We were met at home by our parents. We filled them in as best we could. Then there was another sleepless night. No phone calls.
The next morning we met Susan and her mom at about 10am at Primary Children’s. My mom came with us. That was a long day. We had to meet with a social worker so that we could try to work out the situational details. We traded off spending time with Micayla and Susan at the bedside. We waited for someone to tell us more…. With all the tests and such that they were doing there was really nothing they could tell us.
Susan was tired. It was hard to put ourselves in her shoes. She had given birth to a sweet little baby that she wanted us to raise. There were issues involving the agency that at this point we were not even aware of. Susan wanted to go home to take care of her boys, for some reason at this point I didn’t even see that --- I am sure we were selfish, we wanted to be with our baby.
That evening her family came to visit the hospital. This was hard for them too. I know they were there to support her but they didn’t want to get attached to Micayla. We spent a lot of time with her family. We talked, they talked. This was definitely an open adoption. Matt’s parents and my dad also came that night. Again we got permission to break the rules a little bit, Matt and his dad gave Micayla a blessing.
On Wednesday morning we met again. This time Susan’s dad and sister came with her. We spent time with Micayla and we also met at length with someone from genetics. They talked to us in depth about VCFS it was at this time that we found out that in addition to VCFS Susan’s son had another disorder that was more of the cause of his major disabilities. They had checked Micayla’s brain and found no evidence of the other disorder. Is it bad for me to say that that was a relief?
Then early in the afternoon Susan’s caseworker came. She basically laid it out for us – Susan was tired she needed to go home. She was signing the relinquishment papers that afternoon.
We went home. Somewhere along the way something got lost in translation, no one from the Agency called us. We thought everything was done. So on Thursday morning Matt and I went to the hospital. We were not allowed in the NICU the case worker came out and told us that Susan hadn’t signed the papers. She told us that she couldn't tell us anything other than we needed to talk to our caseworker. We had to leave the hospital – all we knew that day was that Micayla was still alive.